One verdict. No appeals.

Send your bag.Accept your fate.

Upload a redacted portfolio screenshot. The Crypto Reaper scans the damage and delivers the only verdict that matters: REKT or SPARED.

Entertainment only. Redact private information before submitting. Never trade on a Reaper verdict.

The Crypto Reaper: a hooded skull wielding a neon green and violet scythe amid floating cryptocurrency symbols
Portfolio scanner armedTarget acquired

Latest protocol

No mercy mode

The ritual

Three steps to public judgment.

The portfolio comes in private. The verdict is built to travel.

  1. 01

    Redact the evidence.

    Crop names, wallet addresses, balances, and anything you do not want buried on the timeline.

  2. 02

    Send the bag.

    Drop a screenshot of your portfolio into the submission queue. The Reaper only needs the allocation.

  3. 03

    Share the fate.

    Receive REKT or SPARED, then post the verdict before the rest of crypto finds out anyway.

Submission protocol

Bring receipts.
Leave identity.

A clean, redacted screenshot gives the Reaper what it needs. No wallet connects. No trading access. No fake alpha.

Enter the submission queue
Reaper terminalOnline

Drop the redacted screenshot.

PNG, JPG, or WEBP. Submit through the secure flow after creating your account.

Names hiddenWallets hiddenReady to scan

The only outcomes

The scythe falls. The timeline decides.

REKT

The bag enters the graveyard. Own it, share it, rebuild.

SPARED

Rare. Suspicious. Screenshot it before the market changes its mind.

No appeals desk

Questions from the condemned.

Is this financial advice?+

Absolutely not. The Crypto Reaper is entertainment and public grief counseling for crypto traders, not investment research or portfolio management.

What should I redact?+

Remove your name, wallet addresses, account numbers, balances, and anything else you would not post publicly. The Reaper wants the bag, not your identity.

Will every bag get featured?+

No. Verdicts are selected for clarity, timing, and maximum emotional damage. A submission does not guarantee a public post.

Final summons

Stop chart-watching.
Face the Reaper.

Redact the portfolio. Send the evidence. Share whatever verdict survives.

Send the Reaper your bag